Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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