Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
