I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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