Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
