When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
