Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
