is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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