when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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