8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
