haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Randomize
