i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
