Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize