He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
