and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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