I need help removing her.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
