Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
