I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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