Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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