Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
My penis needs a shock collar
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
