If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
we should paint friendship bongs
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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