How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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