Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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