If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
