11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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