Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
