Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
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