when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
