At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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