It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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