he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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