if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize