I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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