can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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