dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
