so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Randomize
