return my video game
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
