Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
