Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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