A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
