i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
