Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
