since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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