honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
