i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
