i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
