does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I supernannyed him into submission
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Randomize
