I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
