Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize