My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i can't believe i had my finger in that
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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