It's like God shit irony all over that family
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
