My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
