I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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