she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
