Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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