the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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