So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Randomize
