I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Randomize
