so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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