I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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