I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
The best revenge is premature balding
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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