I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
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