She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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