We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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