oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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