Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize