idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
