This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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