He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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