i jhust puked up my retainher.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Randomize
